Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
