I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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