I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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