There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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