are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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