who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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