Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
