By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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