If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
