And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dick very happy bro
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
