I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
