Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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