What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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