the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
