lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
