normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
