I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
