he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
