paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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