first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
