I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
