After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
