If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the day after is always just damage control
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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