he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
