I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
