What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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