I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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