my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
