My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
