fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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