yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
