Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
