So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize