Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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