is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
