We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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