I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
