The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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