The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
