So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
