There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
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What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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