yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
