the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize