Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
