I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
