You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
