He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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