Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm passing your future prison.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize