Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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