I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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