I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
