I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
