I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
