Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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