OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
