some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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