Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am midnight drunk by noon
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
