why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
