Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
