what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
