atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
