i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
