My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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