She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
