College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
