I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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