I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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