You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
