Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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