Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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